Morning Light

I awoke and remembered where I was, laying on the comfortable bed that I'd crawled into last night. I opened my eyes and stared at the pallid gray walls, which were quite a ways from where I slept -- situated near the center of the large bedroom.

Despite its thick stone frame, the air of the Earl's keep let in the stiff chill of morning, and I could feel it nipping at my exposed left cheek.

It was still quite dark, but the light from the moon shone in through the small barred windows of the room. I could feel something in the still air, and knew that it would be sunrise soon – not more than an hour before we would head off to the North. I often awoke before dawn when I was filled with anticipation, and this was no exception.

Despite all of that excitement, however, I found myself hesitating to get up.

My mind wandered over the details that I had been given, and went round and round trying to decide if I believed any of it. Even if it were true, beasts are just beasts. I had hunted wolves before, and taken down large game. There was no way for this to be beyond us.

Does he really think that we might not make it? I asked myself, but the thought was quickly snuffed out.

He doesn't know me, or what I'm capable of surviving. If he did, then he wouldn't doubt me.

I found myself inspired, in the midst of the darkness and uncertainty, to sit up in my bed, turn, and place my feet firmly on the ground. I wasn't going to stop until I proved myself, I thought, standing upright.

My resolve once again cemented, I decided that I would go to the hall and see if any of the others had awoken.

Making my way over to the table where I had laid my equipment, my mind began to wander and I found myself imagining what the North towns might look like. I had never been so far from home, and there were stories of the wondrous buildings in places like Ljosavatn.

I carefully picked up my pants and slipped them on, then did the same with my shirt.

What sorts of people live up North, I wonder? I imagined that tough, grizzled giants like my father were the only ones who could survive up there, if the winters were anything like people said.

I pulled my tunic over my head and adjusted it, then laced my belt onto my torso. Finally, I stepped into my boots and laced them up to my knees – then folded over the soft leather at the tops.

I suppose I'll find out soon, I concluded.

Picking up my sword and shield, I moved to the door and opened it, moving through and striding toward the hall – until I heard a pained sound from the room next to mine.

What was that? I thought to myself, suddenly feeling very alert.

The sound had definitely come from inside the room, and I found myself moving towards the door without considering whether or not doing so was wise – a habit which my mother had warned me was very dangerous.

That room is Ellisif's I recalled. I wonder if she's alright?

As I approached the door, I heard another sound like the first, only a little louder. It definitely sounded like a girl, but I couldn't quite say what the sound was. It sounded intense, like a cry for help or someone straining to save themselves. I got to the door and leaned in, listening for the sound.

When my ear finally pressed against the thick planks that made up the door, I was surprised by how well smoothed the surface was. Obviously, the Earl had gone to some expense to ensure that every part of his keep was high-quality. As my ear held firm against the wood, my thoughts were suddenly gone.

“Mmm...” I heard the voice moan.

It was definitely a woman, but the intensity that I had heard was the deepness of a moan...

I began to feel very embarrassed.

I shouldn't be listening to a girl in her room I thought, pulling away from the door.

“You're so tight...” a male voice murmured.

I stopped.

Despite the feeling that I shouldn't eavesdrop, I felt a burning curiosity at who might be inside the room. Was it Ulfr? Was it one of the others? I couldn't help but continue to listen, captivated by the wrongness of what I was doing.

“Mmm” I heard again, from the girl.

Is that Ellisif? I wondered, my imagination suddenly very active.

As I stood there, listening, the moans grew deeper and louder, and the man began to join in with his low-pitched grunts and shallow gasps. I hadn't ever been with a man, but I had heard such sounds many times from my parents' room at home.

I continued to listen, my mind swimming with images of what that mysterious man might be doing to that beautiful girl, my head feeling light and warm. I felt a jolt of excitement each time I heard them moan, and I resisted the temptation to feel with my hand how it was affecting my body.

The woman's cries were becoming more intense, and I could hear a faint and repeated slapping sound that I knew could only be one thing. As the slapping grew in speed and volume, I heard the woman suddenly burst out before muffling her voice.

“Ah! Nnngg! Mm--” she moaned, though her voice now sounded pained.

I wondered what was happening to make her sound that way, as if she was overwhelmed by what was happening and unable to hold in her voice. Thinking back on the times that I had been awake to hear my parents, I had never heard my mother make that sound.

My eyes widened as I heard a sound that I did recognize: The deep grunting of the man, as he began to go wild and spill his seed. My sister had told me about the feral release of the men she had been with, and it sounded as animalistic in person as in her descriptions.

I listened as the two voices echoed together through the room, not nearly as quiet as they had been before, until they faded out and quieted.

When I noticed an intense warmth between my thighs, I felt embarrassed and ashamed, realizing that I was indulging in the kinds of perversion that only existed at fertility festivals. I moved away from the door, trying to remember what I was doing before I had heard the noise.

Before I could remember, however, I heard the sound of Ellisif's door being unlatched, and I quickly moved behind a large wooden column which obscured my figure.

The door swung open slowly, cautiously, and I could see a person looking out from within. Whoever they were, they clearly didn't want to be known.

Who is that? I wondered, desperately trying to see the figure in the dim candlelight.

After a few moments, the figure – who I could tell now was a man – moved swiftly out of the door and spun around to close it, then moved away from me down the hall. In spite of my effort, I couldn't tell who it was, though I did notice his height and build – which was strikingly similar to that of Ellisif's brother.

Was that really Orvar? I thought, disturbed by the very idea that he would be doing something like that with his sister. I had brothers of my own, and they would never want to be with me.

My thoughts were interrupted by footsteps from behind me, past my room, and I panicked unnecessarily. Unsure where to go, I found myself fleeing back to the bedroom where I had awoken, shutting the door behind myself.

The footsteps continued for a short time, but eventually fell silent, allowing me to take a deep breathe and relax. After some thought, I realized that I had no need to be afraid; no one knew what I had been doing, or how it had affected me. I looked up at the window, though which the first few rays of morning light had begun to shine.

There was a sudden knock on the door, and my head spun to face the sound.

“Sigrid?” someone called from the other side. I felt calm again, as soon as I realized that the voice belonged to Geirny.

“Yes?” I replied.

“Good, you're up. It's time to prepare.”

I walked back to the door and opened it, met with Geirny's friendly gaze.

“Don't bother with your things, dear” she said, gesturing at my equipment. “Those will be packed for you.”

I nodded and placed my sword and shield on the ground beside the bed, then she gestured for me to lead the way out of the room. As we left, I heard a sound from her.

“Are you alright, Geirny?” I asked.

She hesitated for a few moments, with an expression of deep thoughtfulness, but eventually spoke.

“I wanted to warn you about the people that you're traveling with, Sigrid. I know that your mother would want me to, despite the trouble it could cause me. People like Ulfr and Agmundr aren't to be trusted, unless you want to find yourself in grave danger. Do you understand?”

I thought about what she was saying, and took it very seriously.

“I'll be fine, Geirny, I promise. I'm older than people think I am.”

She seemed concerned at my words, but left it at that.

“After you” she gestured, and I began to move forward again.

When we reached the hall, most of the others were already there. The only two who weren't, I noticed, were Orvar and Ellisif.

When they finally did arrive, I noticed that Orvar was the same height as I remembered him – and the same height as the man who had left his sister's room. Despite that, he gave no outward sign that he had been with a woman only minutes ago.

Looking over Ellisif, however, I could still see the hints that she'd been with a man recently; she had flushed cheeks, her lips were bright red, and her eyes seemed to look out with an otherworldly intensity. I found myself once again wondering if it was possible that it had been Orvar.

Maybe I imagined it...

I was still staring at the two of them when Agmundr approached me.

“You're Thorodsdotter, yes?” he asked in a cold tone.

I turned to face him and was surprised by his size. Though not tall, his frame was wider and more full than I had noticed the night before. If he was the 'hand of the Earl' as people called him, then he was a clenched fist.

“Yes?” he repeated.

I gave a quick nod.

“Good. I need to know who I count on when the swords come out, and the Earl said your mother was quite the shieldmaiden” he stated knowingly. “Can I count on you to follow my orders, no matter what happens?”

I swallowed hard, wondering what Geirny had meant about Agmundr.

“You're in charge, so I have to” I said, trying to sound matter-of-fact about it.

“Right” he said, bluntly. I saw a strange look in his eye as he said the word, and I felt my stomach shift uncomfortably.

As he turned and left, I couldn't escape the feeling that I should have asked Geirny what she had meant, though I knew it was too late.

“We're all ready, so follow me” Agmundr called to the group, starting to walk out and head toward the main entrance of the building. People slowly followed, filtering out, and I followed along. I couldn't tell if the others were hesitating because it was early, or because they had begun to doubt themselves, but I had managed to pass most of them by the time we reached the stables.

When we got there, the horses were already waiting for us with our supplies and equipment, and Agmundr was already fully prepared.

“We can't waste any more time” Agmundr called to the group as he mounted his large stallion, now towering above us all. “Make haste!”